Holy Downloading.

Still downloading every single song on Stephenie Meyer's playlists. I'm just starting on Eclipse. Man, I love this music. It's SOOO good! I listened to the New Moon playlist while reading Eclipse the other night... It makes it much more interesting, let me tell you. I'll have to listen to the music a little more, though. I don't know many of the songs, so I tend to listen to them more closely, which distracts me from the words on the page. I was surprised that I knew as many songs as I did. Liiiike... "I Miss You" by Blink-182. TOTALLY didn't know that song was called "I Miss You." Or "The Reason" by Hoobastank. Or "Hate Me" by Blue October. I was actually singing along with them before I figured out that I knew-- and liked-- the songs. I think "Fix You" by Coldplay was another one...

Anywho, my quest to fix my iTunes is nearly complete. Did I write about that? Through some extremely impressive acts of stupidity, I managed to delete every single song off my computer. My dad, being the wonderful genius that he is, recovered them for me, but I still feel really stupid. And I had to move all of my music to a different harddrive because we decided to put it on a shared drive. I'm the only one that manages any music through iTunes, so my sister would be helpless if I didn't load things for her. So I've been re-adding the 1000+ songs that I had on there, re-importing the CD files that were corrupted from being deleted, and so on and so forth. I'm also adding some really old CDs of mine... and my mom's. Gotta love the good stuff-- Wings, Edwin McCain, The Beatles, REO Speedwagon, Little River Band, ABBA... OH MAN. It's good.

I'm wired from seeing Iron Man. I FINALLY got out of the house. I've been trapped here with my dad for the past two weeks. I graduate and suddenly it seems I fall off the face of the earth-- socially at least. The only person that invites me to do anything is my soon-to-be roommate, and I'm trying to lessen our time together since I'll be living with her soon. I love her to death, but sometimes too much of a good thing can become a bad thing, and I don't want that to happen with us. ANYWAY. Iron Man was great, but there was this REALLY annoying girl that sat next to my dad... She wouldn't shut up. I was about to say something to her, but then my dad said something instead, which was probably a good thing because he was much more polite than I would have been. And then she was screaming at everyone to stay because there was something at the end of the credits, but a bunch of people left anyway. But I was like, "Uh, lady, no one is listening to you because they're tired of your voice. They didn't want to hear you in the middle of the movie, and they don't want to hear you now. SHUT UP."

Well, now I must let the dog out, so I'll end this silly rant about nothingness.

Done.

It's official-- I've graduated from high school. Scary, I know.

So I've been at home by myself for the past, oh, week I'd say. My sister's been at school. Yesterday was her last day-- she got to test out of all of her semester tests (except for Precalc... She's chosen to take that test because she's an over-achiever). And what does she do today? She goes to a movie with her junior friends and leaves me by myself. AGAIN.

So I'm cleaning my room, and sort of packing along the way. I've been doing that for a few days now. My room was really that bad. I can now walk in it, but it's got a long way to go. It gets better, then it gets worse again... And then I decide to take really long breaks where I decide to download music or talk to people on Windows Live Messenger. My downloading is getting out of hand, but I've got a BUNCH of really cool songs. I'm downloading every song on Stephenie Meyer's book playlists. I'm a nerd, I know. But she has AWESOME taste in music. And I'm sick of listening to Broadway showtunes. Shh! don't tell Jordan; he'll have a heart attack.

WELLLLLLL, I better get back to my room. Maybe I'll try downloading a few more songs. Limewire crapped out on me last night, so I ended up reading for about... four hours and then going to bed. My life is so BORING. At least I'll (hopefully) get a job soon. I applied at a Christian book store called Parables. It's practically a step away from soon-to-be MY apartment. I could walk to work from my apartment if I didn't have to walk on major roads. Wait, I think I could walk anyway. I think the walking trail goes right past it. Hm.

Anywho, so I have connections in the store, and I think I can get a job there. WOO! But enough about that. I'm going to CLEAN.

It Don't Mean a Thing!

...If it ain't got that swing! Doowah doowah doowah doowah doowah doowah doowahhhh!

xD

Listening to Broadway's Best on Sirius Satellite. SETH'S BIG FAT BROADWAY!!!! <3 And I listened to the London revival of The Sound of Music earlier... They had the entire CD. Oh my gosh, so good.

And now I'm just thinking about the cast of Twilight. I'm a little miffed about certain characters. I was really hopeful that Ellen Page would be Bella... Seeing her in Juno really made me think that she could be Bella. I mean, Juno is just sort of a super cranky, opinionated Bella anyway. Plus I'm not a huge Kristen Stewart fan, but I think she'll do the part justice... I hope.

As for Robert Pattinson... OH MY GOD. The only thing better than him being Edward would be him showing up at my door to take me to prom. Sorry, Jordan. I'd definitely stand you up to go with my beautiful, beautiful Cedric. *sigh* The rest of the Cullens didn't really ring bells for me right away, but GEEZ LOUISE, I think Jasper is ADORABLE. The pictures of him smiling on Stephenie Meyer's website... God, I'm in love. And I'm really excited about Kellan Lutz. I didn't recognize him at first, but when I saw that he's one of the guys in Stick It, I was convinced he was perfect. Emmett is definitely a goofball, a big brother type with a bit of an ego. Kellan Lutz can do that.

Nowwww, Twilight Layouts for You (c) on Myspace posted a bulletin saying that Taylor something-or-other is going to play Jacob. FREAKING SHARK BOY. My sister is excited 'cause she thinks he's cute, but I was like "UGH WHATEVER." Unless they're planning to switch him out by New Moon. I don't think he can do older Jacob... But I guess I'm not in charge so it doesn't matter.


I don't remember what else I was going to complain about. But I guess I should stop typing. My hand feels funny... It keeps doing this weird thing where something in my hand moves that I'm pretty sure isn't supposed to move. Maybe I should get that checked out.

Shopping.

I shouldn't be allowed to have money. I spend wayyy too much. I mean, a lot of teenagers would have already burned up their money if they'd made $2000+ during the summer, so I guess I'm not so bad. I still have over $1000. I think. I'm not quite sure. I should check that... I'm probably around $900 right now.

I bought some books. Two books, actually. I bought Prom Nights from Hell (a collection of "paranormal" prom stories by five famous authors of teenage romance novels, including Stephenie Meyer and Meg Cabot!) and then, since I'm retarded, I bought The Daring Book for Girls. My mom said that it's awesome... if I was twelve. I told her that it's interesting and it teaches me how to make my own quill and cool stuff like that. I even put my hair up with pencils and no ponytails! Of course, the way they said to do it in the book didn't work because I have a massive amount of hair, but it INSPIRED me to do it.

I also bought myself some body butter lotiony cream stuff. As luck has it, it was buy one get one free day at Bath and Body Works. So I have two kinds. They're both awesome.

And then I got a neat little clearance tote from Wal-Mart. And a bucket of scrapbooking stuff. It's fun.

So now I'm updating crap on my Facebook. WOO.

Long story short, I shouldn't spend my money as often as I do, but I still do. Because, like I said, I'm retarded. Yay me!

No School.

There's no school tomorrow due to crappy weather, which means there's no conference speech tomorrow (or today, I should say). At least, there's no conference speech for us... But perhaps not for the rest of the schools. And if they don't reschedule conference speech, I will have a stroke and die. I will literally go out and murder people. I have worked too hard not to kick conference humorous prose ASS. I want that beautiful gold medal, 1st place Humorous Prose on the back. I WANT IT! And if I don't get a chance to get it, I will murder people.

I'm getting this icky feeling in my stomach... It's all bubbly, like it's boiling. It may be that my supper was a crappy hot dog, a bag of super salty popcorn, and a melty snickers that I grabbed at the basketball game in desperation because I hadn't been home since 7:17 that morning, when we left late for jazz band (my fault). Oh, and I had a bit of burnt popcorn that our "Harry Beaton" made during Brigadoon practice. And some weird guacamole pringles. And a bottle of water.

I can't possibly fall asleep like this. I'm too buzzed with stress about this. Plus I read a sappy love story-- one of those young adult stories about teenage girls falling in love with their best guy friends; it's "How to be Popular" by Meg Cabot, and it's really good, I'm just not in the best of moods for it right now-- which TOTALLY doesn't help my mood. And now a girl that I used to go to school with started talking to me on MSN. I used to hang out with her a lot. It's not like she lives anywhere different (she lived in a different town, she just goes to that town's school now...), but I haven't talked to her in FOREVER. It's kind of nice to explain all the crap that's been bothering me without having to worry about her telling everyone. I mean, she can kind of blab sometimes, but she's not on good terms with a lot of people from my school, so I think I'm good. She's a nice person, but people don't get along with her. She's a little... extreme, sometimes. But I miss her now and then.

Wallflower.

I think Wallflower (also known as Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge, or Perfect Girl Evolution) is my favorite manga/anime in the ENTIRE WORLD. Better than Naruto... Better than--dare I say it?--YU-GI-OH!

I'm serious. (Yeah, Beth, I know.) I really love Yu-Gi-Oh! so leave me alone. xD

I'm watching subbed versions of the anime on Veoh. :3 I may buy it on DVD some day... Subtitles don't bother me at all, but I like hearing the dubbed versions better, despite the fact that people say it's "not as good" that way. I'm not a diehard Japanese fan, I just like the stories! And because it's a cartoon, it's easier to forgive. It's not like watching Moonchild (Japanese movie about vampires starring JRock stars Gackt and Hyde) or something dubbed. That would be UNBEARABLE. It makes me think of really old karate movies. XP But I've grown up with English-dubbed versions of anime shows, like Yu-Gi-Oh!, Pokemon, etc...

Actually, I've only really watched Yu-Gi-Oh! and Pokemon. I've watched a little Inuyasha, Cowboy Bebop, and Yu Yu Hakashu (or whatever the heck it's called) but I didn't like those, and I watched Naruto, but I wasn't very far into the manga and I didn't want to ruin the story for myself, so I stopped.

But enough of that. I'm only on episode 2 (haha, Star Wars! xD) of Wallflower. I gotta keep watching! (Plus, my friend Jordan is trying to talk to me about his research paper and I'm not doing a very good job of responding.)

White Day.

There has been an amazing discovery. Apparently, in Japan there is a holiday called "White Day." On Valentine's Day, it is customary for a woman to give chocolate/gifts to a man. On White Day, the man gives chocolates to the woman who gave him chocolates on Valentine's Day. White Day is March 14, which happens to be my birthday. And "white" is very similar to my name (Whitney).

Too bad I didn't give any boys chocolates or gifts on Valentine's Day. ;_; Then I could get TWICE the presents.

Ah, the things you learn from The Wallflower (aka Perfect Girl Evolution).

Absence.

So, I haven't been writing on here as much as I would have liked to. I've been feeling very... under the weather, both physically and emotionally. It's actually a little unexplainable if you don't know the full extent of what's been going on in my life, but suffice it to say I've had a lot of stressful things going on (like scholarships, musical, speech, a physics paper that I don't want to write, etc.), and combined with some very emotional things (like the death of my baby-- my dog, Cooper), I've been a hair shy of psychotic. I've exploded at my friends for the smallest of reasons, I can't stand to be around my sister, I'm angry with my parents all the time... What makes me more angry is when I tell my mom things that are bothering me and she has to blab to EVERYONE that I'm depressed. If I wasn't depressed then, I am now. Nothing depresses me more than thinking that no one can figure these things out on their own and when I finally tell my mom, she tells everyone, and then I get pity. Pity is not something that I like. It bothers me even more.

Like my friend Jordan. When I didn't go to the last basketball game of the season to play pep band (my last pep band gig... I tried to make it for the halftime part, but I missed it, which I now regret a lot), my mom told my sister and my friend that I was depressed about stuff. My friend called me, forced me to go, and then I ended up making it. Well, I guess Jordan found out that I was upset (though I'm quite sure he didn't find out exactly what was making me upset, because he asked why my sister was crying...) because after the game he got on MSN Messenger and talked to me for the LONGEST time. He never does that. Bless his soul, I know he was just trying to help and I would have never known it was just him trying to save me from depression had he not made some weird comment before he left to take a shower and let his mom take over (I LOVE his mom!), but it just made me think, "Oh. So you wouldn't talk to me on any other occasion. I get it. You're just worried that I'm going to become depressed and suicidal or something. If I wasn't then you wouldn't be talking to me. Okay. Thanks."

Like I said, it was sweet of him to try helping me... But his odd comment made me a little upset. But I don't really want to bring it up with him (he'll probably get my blog unblocked TODAY and read this and this won't even matter) because I've been too mean to him lately. We've all been testy. We're ALL under large amounts of pressure, and I think it's affecting how we all treat each other. My sister says that I'm cranky all the time and holds it against me even when I'm in the best of moods. Then I go back into my "WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME?!" mode.

So... conclusion? Stress is the main factor, most definitely. My stomach has been twisted in knots since January, and when I get really upset, I feel like there's a vice grip on my heart (not in a heart attack way...) and I get migraines so bad that no amount of ibuprofen and caffeine will help me. But I think the major contributor to this continuation of so-called "depression" is my sister, in more ways than you can know.

OMGGG.

So I just finished reading Absolute Boyfriend online... AHHHH. SO SAD. ;_; I will now cry myself to sleep.

By the by... Did anyone know that it's extremely hard to type when you have a bandaid over the first knuckle on your middle finger on your right hand??? It's really frustrating. But I don't think it would be as frustrating if it was on a different finger. Hm. Maybe I'll test this theory sometime.

Operations.

So... I read this fantastic fanfiction, and it has inspired me. It wasn't like it was all that well written... It was a Twilight fanfic with very OOC characters and there was no plot, just characters writing notes to each other. But it's a great idea. I'm going to start a story with Marauders where they write notes to each other, but I'm going to make the notes on parchment with "handwriting" fonts and post them on another blog... Oh, it's going to be such a great thing! I think there was an LJ project that did something similar a while back, but I'm not sure. I was to say it was the Shoebox project, but I don't think so. I think I just discovered those two things at around the same time.

So that operation is under way, and so is another operation inspired by this fanfic-- Operation A.T.H.O.O.L., pronounced either by spelling it out or "ah-thool." But I'm not going to say what that is, and I'm not even sure it's going to be put to use.

My Icon Rocks.

So last night I went through all of my pictures on my computer... I found this fantastic icon of Snape. I wanted to use my Cedric/Taco icon, but I guess flash icons don't work for profile pictures. I'll have to put it on here sometime because it's amazing.

So there was a "cabaret show" tonight for our senior high choir. I did well on both my duets (I had a duet with my sister and a duet with my dear friend Lily--I mean, Jordan (he's a goof)), but I actually blanked on the words to my solo, which NEVER happens. But oh well. And my dearest Padfoot tried to console me, but I didn't want a hug. So I was mean to my Paddykins. ;_; But other than that, the night was GREAT. My dad is actually uploading the duet my sister and my friend Justin sang. It's Tear Jerk from "I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change." He's like putting it on YouTube or something. I'll have to put a link. He might my duet with Jordan up. That'd be great.

Gosh, I'm pooped. I'm out.

Layout.

Changed layout. Found it on a website, but I had to take off the icky link thing they put on the top... I'll eventually make my own layout, but I liked the color scheme of this one, especially since I'm o an extreme Twilight kick. (: It's kind of Phantom of the Opera as well. And Pirates of the Caribbean. And even Gryffindor... So it's pretty me. Plus I like stars.

Also updated some information on my profile. If you're wondering, yes, I really do enjoy alphabetizing. I'm strange like that. Part of it is just me, but part of it can be blamed on my English teacher. I'm her "teacher's aid" 3rd hour, so I do a lot of stuff for her. One of the things I do for her is alphabetize all of the assignments. I also organize the bookshelves, straighten the desks, etc. etc. Basically, I'm there to help her with every OCD whim that she has. She's an awesome teacher and possibly the greatest speech coach ever. (: But on the other hand, I've always liked organizing things. This isn't so say I'm a neat freak-- far from it-- but I've always enjoyed organizing books according to size or author or title... I'm in charge of the "movie library" in our "movie theater" downstairs.

ANYWAY. I need to stop ranting and get to bed. I've got a full day tomorrow-- gotta clean my room in the morning, then I have musical, then speech showcase, and then there's a cabaret show for the senior high choir tonight. I love being overbooked.

Insomnia.

So my original plan sort of backfired. I meant to just dink around on the internet and then BAM! be drooling on my pillow for the next few hours. Instead, I stared at the ceiling for a while, then I got back on the computer, looked at art on deviantART (and found a picture that I'm TOTALLY going to do in watercolors sometime... if I have time... it's just beautiful!), and then I decided to take a shower. Now, some make think it odd to take a shower at 1:oo in the morning, but reason with me here. I take a shower in the middle of the night because I can't fall asleep. Therefore, when I DO fall asleep, I will be able to stay in bed longer because I am already showered. I think it's a pretty smart plan.

So anyway, I showered, and then I opened the internet. My homepage is my iGoogle page, and I have an RSS feed from StephenieMeyer.com, and it had the best news in the entire universe-- BREAKING DAWN IS GOING TO BE RELEASED ON AUGUST 2, 2008! OH MY GOSH. I want to have a Twilight party RIGHT NOW to celebrate, but, lamentably, everyone I know is either asleep or SHOULD be asleep (*cough*Beth, stop reading fanfiction in the middle of the night*cough*).

And then I stared at myself in the mirror. Strange, I know. But I was just thinking about what I like about myself... Like my shoulders. I love my shoulders. They're really rounded, which my old art teacher Ms. Meese used to always say was a bad thing. She made me redo a portrait in 5th grade because the girl's shoulders weren't square enough (or as I like to say, "They weren't butch"). But I like my shoulders, especially because I have long hair. I like my hair, too, except I'm upset with the color changes that its undergone. THAT all started around my sophomore year when I flirted with the SunIn bottle and ended up with orangey-blonde hair, and then I got really lazy so I let it grow out, which looked really bad because my natural hair color is this sort of ashy blonde color. Being the ditz that I am, I decided to get highlights and lowlights to even my hair out. Did that, like, twice. Then I just got it highlighted. Then I let it grow out again because I'm a lazy person. By then I was a junior and my hair looked pretty crappy (though I still got compliments all the time because it doesn't matter what my hair looks like, people just love it). Soooo the beginning of my senior year, I took my sister to me with the salon and I dyed it DARK. It was this reddish brown color, and I liked it because it actually matched my eyebrows. But I got daring and wanted to try red. My roots had grown out far, so I had super red hair and then a really nice auburn, with a very visible line between the two. We got that fixed, but now my hair is growing out again and fading, so I have faded coppery-brown hair with about a half an inch of ashy blonde hair, which looks like gray against the dyed portion. And my mom was so upset with what happened the LAST time I got my hair done that she's afraid of letting me get my hair done again.

Gosh, I hope I can fall asleep soon. I'm not even tired right now! I googled "ways to fall asleep" and all it came up with was a list of things to do-- kick the caffeine (yeah right, at least I'm not drinking a Diet Dr. Pepper right now!), don't drink (don't do that anyway), etc. etc. I think my insomnia has been indirectly caused by my staying up to watch Juno on Movie6.net the other night. I stayed up until 1:00 in the morning. I was really tired in the morning, but thankfully we got out of school early due to the crappy weather. I vegged out and watched Batman Forever and then I took a nap. I ended up staying up late that night too because we had a late start the next day (today). So I not only stayed up late, but I slept in. I already said what happened tonight. I'm thinking it's all related, but hey, that's just me.

Well, I should probably TRY to fall asleep now. I've gotta be all ready for tomorrow-- we're going to see Phantom of the Opera! I think I've got my outfit picked out for tomorrow (I'm debating whether I should wear my navy blue 60's Jackie O. dress, my pink/crazy color plaid "West Side Story" dress, or my black dress with white polka dots... I'll have to put pictures of these things up some time). I'll probably go with the blue dress because I'm wearing my polka dot dress on Saturday for our high school choir "Cabaret Show." No matter what dress I wear, I'm going to wear my black opaque tights, my black round-toe heels with the little bow on them, and my black cardigan sweater thingy.

But now I'm off to pour myself a glass of milk because the internet gods say that it has tryptophan in it. I'll probably regret it in the morning when I have awful breath.

First Post

So... I used to have a blogspot a loooong time ago (when I was, like 14). It had to do with hobbits, I swear it. But it has disappeared long since, and I'm fed up with GreatestJournal and LiveJournal and all the crap they're doing. LiveJournal was cool at first, but I didn't really like it after a while. Then GreatestJournal came around, and I was like "AWESOME! 1000 userpics! Yayyyy!" And I had several accounts for RP characters and life was good... until they knocked it down to 100 pics... then a measly 10 pics (I had 16 pics on one LJ account because I got some deal that upgraded my account). I don't like posting about my woes on Myspace or Facebook because people tend to read those more and sometimes there are things that I want to say that I don't necessarily want everyone to read.

So now where am I? Back where it all started. Pretty cool, huh? Oh, I'm going to get a blog on my own website soon, but I'm about 80% sure that you can transfer this bad boy to another domain or something crazy like that. Just like I'm about 80% sure that the rest of my family had something with kielbasa and potatoes for supper. The smell has taken over the upstairs, but that's all I have to go on as far as leads because I was in bed at 6:30 p.m. I know, I'm lame. But I was angry; I didn't want to deal with anyone, so I ate supper at 5:30, stewed for about half an hour, talked to my friend for about 10 minutes on MSN, and then I stared at pictures on deviantART for another 20 minutes before I decided to sleep. And now I'm wide awake at 11:30. You could say my plan backfired slightly, but whatever. I'll probably fall asleep easily after I finish messing around with my blog and sleep all night and STILL be late to jazz band practice in the morning. But that's just because I'm awesome like that.